Tara - Lost Wallet/Log

Petra is seated beneath the flickering lantern above, which sets her features in sharp relief. REE REE REE. She's got a small order of brown rice in front of her, and is idly picking at it. But she doesn't appear to be in a bad mood; on the contrary, she's practically glowing. She's wearing a new necklace, too! http://tinyurl.com/a6lzacu because I'm too lazy to desc it yet.

Tara comes into the restaurant, looking around like she is looking for something or someone. She heads toward the hostess. "Oh hey, I was in here earlier, and I think I might have left my wallet... did anyone turn anything in? I was sitting over there at that table..." She points toward the lotus table, and looks around, squinting. "So stupid."

At the sound of Tara's voice, Petra looks up, tilting her head and eavesdropping on the woman's interaction with the hostess. She looks sympathetic, and rises from her seat, starting to tuck her hands in her pockets before realizing she doesn't HAVE any pockets. "Yo," she greets Tara.

The hostess politely tells Tara that she will check, and heads to talk to the manager. Tara just fidgets, looking around with a worried expression - then she sees Petra, and her face smooths out into a smile. "Hey! Petroglyphic. I'm such an idiot. I had dinner here and I was distracted with something and I walked off, I think I must have left my wallet... well, obviously, you probably heard me going on about that. God. I'm a moron." She shakes her head. "How are you doing?"

"You're not a moron, moron..." Petra insists, undercutting her own argument. "How you been, Tartar Sauce? I'm sure they'll find your wallet. If not, hey, dinner's on me. Maybe you should HOPE they don't find it, and then you can pile on the food at no expense, amirite?" She nods her head like, I'm totally right, then asks, "Either way, you wanna have a seat while ya wait?"

Nodding, Tara takes a seat. "I already ate, actually... but thanks for the offer." She stares at the table and the brown rice, shhaking her head. "God, so frustrating. I've probably looked through my bag already like four times." The messenger bag gets plopped into her lap.

"Look through your bag one more time," Petra suggests. "Only really look, really slowly. And check your pockets, ALL of them, on every layer of clothing you wear. I know it's likely gonna come to nothing, but it'll give ya something to do instead of fret." She retakes her seat, smoothing out her skirt, and has a sip of her hot tea. "Of course you already ate. Well, the offer's open for NEXT dinner. Deal?"

"God, I am losing my mind." Tara can be so spacey and placid at times, but right now she is anything but. Her expression darkens even further when the hostess comes back and says that no wallet was located. A waiter then stops at the table and asks, "Are you feeling better miss? I can bring you more ginger tea?" Tara glances sidelong at Petra, then nods, "Yes, thank you." She chews her lip. "You might have to pay for this tea," she tells Petra.

For once, Petra doesn't tease, simply saying, "I've got it covered." She waits until both the hostess and waiter have left, then asks with a jerk of her chin at Tara, "What's up? You're not... you know. I mean, I get that you lost your wallet, but you're kinda freakin' out. What was that the waiter asked about you feeling better... is somethin' going on?"

"I..." Tara awkwardly pulls the messenger bag up onto her side of the table and starts to pull objects out of it, slowly. Precious iPhone comes out first, then a pen, then some Kleenex, then suddenly she gets cagey about just pulling items out and putting them onto the table. She puts the pen and Kleenex back. "I was here having dinner and I got a little sick," she admits, "It happens sometimes. I get nauseated. Katie ordered me the ginger tea. It passes pretty quickly, usually." She keeps on rooting around inside the bag.

Petra watches Tara without comment as she starts pulling items out and then, after her change of heart, putting them back in. She doesn't try to stop her, but it's definiteley noticed. Her food is temporarily forgotten about, though that's not unusual for Petra. "Have you seen a doctor? About the nausea thing?" Her expression suggests she expects a no on that front.

Zane arrives from the front entrance.
Zane has arrived.

"Yes, my doctor knows all about that," Tara says this to Petra. The pair are sitting together, with Petra across the table from Tara. Tara has her messenger bag on top of the table and is frantically rummaging through it, albeit blindly - she's got her hand inside it and is apparently frantically attempting to locate something. Petra has some brown rice in front of her and a waiter stops by the table and brings Tara some tea.

Arching a brow, Petra seems somewhat surprised to hear what Tara has to say. But she's NOT perturbed or surprised by the frantic rummaging, so go figure. She must already know what Tara's looking for. "Is there, like, a reason for it?" she prompts.

Tara lowers her voice, to say something to Petra at the dimly lit booth. Apparently, she doesn't want the whole restaurant to know about it. Go figure!

The door swings open, admitting the (sometimes dynamic) duo of Zane and James. "I want chicken! No, pork! No, beef! Can I have all three?" James is asking as they step inside, and he takes a wide eyed look around. "This doesn't look like China," he says then, as if he had some grand ideas about what Golden China would actually look like on the inside. Chuckling, Zane shakes his head, then steps up to make an order. James, of course, promptly wanders into the restaurant, making a beeline for Petra and Tara.

"Ah," Petra says, nodding her head to Tara in a knowing manner. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it clears up... sometimes those things do." She seems ready to say more, and then is surprised to hear a James! And of course a Zane is with him. She smiles broadly and murmurs to Tara, "Don't look now, but The Man has arrived." She looks though, rising from her seat to offer James a big ol' hug, if he'd like it. "Yo, Jamie Jameson. How's it going, kiddo?"

Tara seems fairly fidgety and spazzy, all in all. As she lifts up her hands to show Petra something, said hands are visibly trembling. She looks over toward the door to see that James and Zane have arrived and flinches just a little, stuffing her hands into the front pouch of her hoodie. "Hey, ah, guys!" she calls out, maybe a bit too brightly.

James hugs Petra, exclaiming "Hi!" as he does. Then, he looks up, solemnly correcting her, much his uncle when he misses an obvious joke: "My last name is Sorenson." Turning to Tara then, he waves and even offers her a hug. Zane, meanwhile, looks over, smiling and waving when he sees the two of them. "You guys want company?" he wonders, before confirming that his order is 'to go'.

"Oh, is it? I could've SWORN it was Jameson," Petra clucks her tongue, going along with it and teasing James further, even if he DOESN'T get the joke. Cruel! But amusing... "How you been?" she asks both James and Zane at once, and offers Zane a hug as well. Because she has become the Huggonaut, let's face it. "Sure, I'd love some company. Tara's a little upset... lost her wallet," she explains away any strangeness in the woman for Tara's benefit.

Looking at James, Tara tries to stop spazzing, pulling her hands back out from her hoodie and opening her arms to give the little boy a hug. "Thanks, James, I really needed one of those," she says earnestly, releasing him. "You are a great hugger. Did you know that supposedly if you hug someone for twenty seconds, it makes you happier? I read that. Yeah, I think I left my wallet in here when I was in here for dinner earlier. I'm just an idiot." If the guys want to join the booth, she pulls her bag off the table and back into her lap.

James hugs Tara, then crawls into the booth next to her. He laughs. "Sorenson. I guess how you could see Jameson. Uncle Zane likes Jameson's, but says he likes Jack Daniel's a little better." James is going to be the most mature kid in the third grade, for sure. Zane, meanwhile, hugs Petra back, then orders, "Yeah, for here. Two orders of eggrolls, pork fried rice, lo mein, sesame chicken, general tso's chicken....and he'll have, can you make him like a mix of pork, beef, and chicken stir fry? Awesome, thank you. Coke for me, juice for him."

Zane also registers what Tara's said "You lost your wallet? That's no good"

Retaking her seat, Petra smiles fondly over at James and Zane, then has a bite of her cooling brown rice. It's about half-gone. "What'd I tell you earlier?" she then asks Tara, shaking her head. "You're not an idiot, ya idiot. Stop beating yourself up about it. People lose shit all the time. Hell, I basically set about to get my car wrecked recently, and I'm a fuckin' GENIUS." And so humble! "Sorenson. Sorenson. Got it, Jamiekins." She pauses, also seeming to register something Tara's said late in the game: "Hell, hugging someone for TEN seconds makes you happier, so why not twenty?"

As Petra sits back down, Tara slides over toward her to make room for James as the little boy sits next to her. She then reaches out to take her tea cup and takes a big sip. Smells like ginger tea. "Yeah, I don't know. Like I said, this is definitely the last place I had it, because I paid for dinner, but they say no one turned anything in. And I looked through my bag a bunch of times and... anyway, that's not really any of your problem, so I'll shut up about it," she concludes. "Wow, this tea is really hot." Setting the cup back down, she starts to pull off her hoodie, gracelessly elbowing Petra in the process. "Shit! Sorry."

"I'll help you look," James says as he slides down along the booth, then pops under the table, crawling about under there before starting to crawl through the restaurant. Zane comes over then, watching him while texting on his phone. "You lookin' for Tara's wallet?" he wonders as James crawls on the floor past him. James looks up, nods, then ducks under another empty table to search. Rather than scold him for crawling around on the dirty floor, Zane shrugs, drops to his hands and knees, and joins the hunt.

"Dude, it's cool," Petra assures Tara with a nod. "Look, we think you're fairly cool or whatevskis, so it IS our problem. He wouldn't have hired you otherwise, and I totally wouldn't go to dinner with ya. So relax. Chill. It's cool." Right about then though, she gets elbowed, and holds a hand over her rib. "Is that for callin' you a moron and an idiot?" she wonders, in a tone that suggests SHE feels she should be held blameless! She rubs her rub to get the sore out, and then laughs as Zane and James start to get on their hands and knees. Not to be caught out of the fun, she starts crawling as well, heading for the lotus table. Of course, SHE'S wearing a mini-skirt.

"Oh my god, what are you guys doing, no!" Tara gives Petra a mortified look. "No, no, no, don't crawl on there... there's, like... salmonella. And I wasn't sitting here before, I was sitting over there at the table with the lotus drawings. Oh my god, James, sweetie, don't put your hands on the floor. Oh my god, you guys. What." She fumbles to try to get up from the booth. "Please, seriously, please you guys. It's not a big deal."

Zane pops up and looks at Tara over the top of one of the tables. "Lotus table, got it!" he says, and starts crawling that way. "James, lotus table? You on it?" called over. A few customers give them strange or even appalled looks, but they keep crawling. "Got it!" James calls back. "Don't worry, Tara. It's clean here! My hands don't smell like salmon at all!"

Aw, it's like they're one big happy family of restaurant-crawlers, with Tara the lone wolf trying to Stop Their Nonsense. Petra reaches the lotus table first, because she had Inside Knowledge and headed there right away. She starts crawling all under the table, looking for a wallet or maybe a spare bite to eat to fill out her skinny frame. Okay, maybe not that last thing. She also checks the chairs nearby, in case she left it on a chair.

Well, if you can't beat them, may as well join them. Right? Tara folds herself down onto her hands and knees. "There's gum. There's gum on this floor," she says in a voice of bleak hopelessness. "I wish I hadn't mentioned anything. This is just, terrible. There's not enough Purell for all of us."

Zane fans out, tactically, starting to talk to customers as he crawls past them. "You seen a wallet? No? You're getting low on water? Sure, let me just," and he crawls over to the water station, sliding back on his knees to bring a pitcher that table's way. James starts shaking out the curtains in search of the wallet. "What does it look like, Tara?" he wonders.

With a laugh, Petra says, "Live a little, Tara! Just think, you'll have this story to talk about for at least a few days until something else totally screwed up happens!" She grins toothily over at poor poor beleaguered woman, and then crawls over to the edge of the lotus table's area, going up onto her knees to eye the table carefully. "Yeah, what's it look like, anyway?" she wonders.

"It's like, um, it's like one of those woven cloth wallets that I bought at a tourist trap place in Old Town," Tara says from where she is underneath some other table. "Jesus, seriously, you guys, let's stop... I feel terrible. And, ohmygod, what the -- okay, I just accidentally saw something I will never be able to unsee." Scrambling out from under the table in question, Tara crawls in the direction of wherever Zane and Petra might be. "I don't even care! Screw my wallet... I'll get a new wallet!"

Zane pauses in his searching, sitting up on his knees to pull out his phone and send off a text. "We're gonna find it, Tara. There's like, important stuff - it's not just the wallet but like, your ID and stuff." Then, he tucks his away and crawls under a table, continuing to search, and his phone buzzes in his pants once more. Pulling it out, he reads the text, then abruptly goes to straighten his back, which sends his head smacking into the edge of the table. The pitcher of water on top of it wiggles, wobbles, and then tumbles down on top of him - his phone is safe, but his head, shirt, and pants are not. James looks over, then looks down, probably polite enough to not immediately laugh hysterically.

James is very well behaved! Petra, however, is not: "BAHAHAHAHA. Oh man. You're all wet, Z! Are you," snicker snicker, clearing of throat, "...are you okay, man?" She clears her throat again, trying SO hard not to keep laughing, but she just can't help it. Well, probably she COULD help it, but where's the fun in that? "Oh god, you look ridonkulous. Come on, dude, let's get you cleaned up." Petra crawls her beskirted way over to Zane, and then starts to rise.

"Ohmygod, we are going to get arrested and thrown out of here," Tara is practically hyperventilating. She crawls right into Petra and then scrambles backwards, bashing herself into a chair. Unfortunately, the chair has an occupant - an elderly lady who lets out a sharp scream. "Help! Robbers!" the elderly lady clutches at her purse.

Zane rubs his wet face on his shoulder, then blinks a few times, probably a tiny bit stunned from having slammed his head into the table. "I'm, yeah. I'm okay. All wet," he tells Petra. And then James lets himself giggle, quietly. "You're so silly," he informs Zane, then grabs a bunch of napkins and walks over to him, starting to layer them one by one on top of his head. "Not robbers, nobody wants your purse, ma'am," Zane assures calls to the woman. His phone buzzes again, and he reads the text. "Katie says you put your wallet in your bag when you left, Tara."

Standing up, Petra also offers Zane a few napkins, and a hand up if he'd like it. "Well, THAT was fun," she decides, not in the least bit sarcastic, and draws James in for another hug, if he'll have it. Zane seems to have the elderly woman covered, but Petra does say, "We should... probably go back to our table. And wash our hands." For her part, she looks right about ready to just wipe her hands on Zane's wet shirt. Hey, it's got water, and water is clean, right?

Tara awkwardly rises to her feet. Things are sticking to her... there's a napkin stuck to her back that she is completely unaware of, and some pieces of lettuce and lo mein attached to her jeans. Not to mention the fact that she is sweating like it's 100 degrees in here. "I thought I did!" she says in a tight, stressed voice. "I swear to god, I put it in my bag. But I went through it like, four times. And it's not in there. It's really not!"

Chuckling, Zane pulls the pile of wet napkins off his head, then accepts Petra's hand up. He squish, squish, squishes over to a trashcan, dropping the napkins into it. "Did you buy anything in between or have to take it out for any other reason?" he wonders, then waves James over so the two of them can duck into the bathroom to wash their hands.

"Check the bathroom yet?" Petra wonders to Tara, and then adds, "And if you want, while those two take care of their hands, I can help you search your bag. Also, again, check your pockets. ALL of 'em." She wrinkes her nose as she pulls a hair that is NOT hers away from her hand, and then shakes her head. "Let's go wash hands first, at any rate."

"I went to buy some gum, and that's when I realized it," Tara mumbles, brushing a piece of fortune cookie out of her hair. "I wish I'd just gone home instead of coming back here. This is awful. I feel like ... I... yeah, let's go to the bathroom." She bolts for the women's room.

Zane and James can be heard in the bathroom. "You're all wet," James teases Zane, who laughs and offers, "You can be all wet too!" There's a squeal, laughter, and when they emerge, James has a few spots of water on his shirt. But, hey, at least their hands are clean. They return to the table and sit like they weren't just crawling around on the floor like crazy people.

Petra follows after Tara, washing up thoroughly as she eyes the other woman. "Look at it this way. At least you learned from Z and Katie that you're not crazy and you DID put it in your bag. So it was worth it to come back, amirite? Why don'tcha take everything out of the bag one by one, yeah?"

In the bathroom, Tara turns on the cold water and dunks her head under the tap. Maybe it's to wash out the crumbs of fortune cookie and the lettuce leaf that's jauntily stuck to the crown of her head. She lets the water wet her hair thoroughly, then squeezes it out into the sink. "That'll just make it worse. Because, you know, if it =is= in there, then you guys just crawled on the floor for nothing at all, and by the way, there was a condom stuck to the underside of one of those tables!" She lets out this horrible half-snort, half-wail, as she furiously squirts soap all over her hands.

Zane and James's excessive amounts of food start to arrive at the table, and, since the ladies aren't around to look horrified, Zane gives himself a lo mein mustache, causing James to laugh hysterically and give himself snow pea eyebrows. It's good they washed their hands, right?

Pft, like Petra'd be horrified. Except at the amount of delicious food! "If it IS in there, we'll just be glad you found the fuckin' thing. Just search your fuckin' bag, y'doof. If you're worried about me gettin' a look at what's inside, don't. I'm headed back to the table." She pauses, though, at mention of that condom, and deadpans, "I knew I left that thing somewhere. I'll be more careful next time." She shoots fingerguns at Tara, and then heads out of the bathroom.

Tara emerges from the bathroom a few minutes after Petra. What was she doing in there? No one will ever know! She has yanked her wet hair up into a messy ponytail. And, it's possible that her mascara may have run a bit. Clearly, it wasn't waterproof enough. Thus, "Raccoon Eyes" rejoins the group. Her bag is hopefully still in the booth. "Um, hay-ay," she drawls out, suavely, playing it cool - or as cool as you can be when you still unknowingly have a used napkin stuck to your back.

Zane uses his phone to snap a picture of James, who is laughing still with snow peas on his face, then Zane captures his own food covered face. Once he's sent those pictures off to wherever they're going, he looks up at Petra and Tara, deadpanning at them like he's pretending he's not covered in lo mein. "Ladies, so nice of you to rejoin us."

"Evening, gentlemen!" Petra says ever so formally, pretending as though Zane's lo mein moustache is perfectly natural and respectable. "It's a pleasure to remake your acquaintance. Henceforth and heretofore known. Party to the first part, amen." She retakes her seat, smoothing out her skirt, and has a sip of her (by now) very cold tea. "Forward those pics to me, will ya?" She turns toward Tara as the woman emerges, and tries to gently and silently indicate the racoon eyes without tipping off Zane and James. "'ja find it?" she asks.

Tara is too frazzled and agitated to be sure, because after she says her "Hay-ay," she then stares at Zane for a long, bewildered moment, her jaw literally dropping open. She snaps her mouth shut. "No, uh, it wasn't in the bathroom. Um. I... yeah." Looking at James seems to be a lot easier for her, so she does that instead of staring at Lo Mein Zane (hey, it rhymes!). "Anyway... yes. Ladies."

Zane blinks solemnly at Tara, like 'what lo mein?'. James giggles, but then makes his best poker face as well, leaning back and rubbing his chin as if he's stroking the beard that he might grow as an adult. "Perhaps, ladies," James says, "The wallet decided it was hungry for Chinese food. I certainly have Chinese food on the brain." And because he's oh so punny, he puts an eggroll on his head. Of course, rather than object, LMZ bursts out laughing.

"Mayhaps the boy has a point! A puntacular, punnariffic point!" Petra points out, in her best Ren Fair voice. "At any rate, the wallet's gone now, and we shall mourn its LOSS. MOURN!" And abruptly, she's crying. Oh, you naysayers may point out that there's no tears, and she sounds like Jabba the Hut blubbering on crack, but perhaps that's what crying is like, on her home planet.

Tara cracks open a fortune cookie.

Tara makes a choked snorting sound, then it actually is simply impossible for her not to laugh, what between James with the eggroll on his head, LMZ's ridiculous noodle-facial hair, and now, Petra's walrus mating sounds. She laughs and laughs until real tears do spring out of her eyes. "Oh. My. God." This is the kind of laughing that actually makes her double over. This is how she discovers the fortune cookie fortne that is stuck to her knee. She reads out loud, in between wheezing sobs of laughter.: "If you're going through hell, don't stop there." (Oh, fortune cookie code, how is it that you are so wise and weirdly apropos?!) "Oh my god. *hic!*" The hiccups have arrived.

James plucks the eggroll off his head, biting into it and chewing with his mouth open. That, however, LMZ shakes his head at, and thus James closes his mouth to chew instead. Both of them grin as Tara doubles over. "We shall mourn it," Zane agrees in his best French accent, pretending to twirl the ends of his lo mein mustache.

More blubbering that's starting to sound suspiciously like laughter from Petra, and then she stops and has a bite of brown rice, casual as you please. She smooooothes out her mini-skirt, then rises, holding up out her tea cup as though in a toast. "Would you all like to say a few words about our dear friend Wallet? Alas, poor Wallet. I knew him, Horatio. A wallet of infinite funds, of most excellent woven cloth. He hath borne Tara's ass on his back a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!" She bats her eyelashes, smiling sweetly, and passes the tea cup to Zane. It's apparently his turn!

Setting down the fortune, Tara wheezes as she gulps her totally cold ginger tea. "You're killing me," she gasps, "*hic*! Seriously, I... wait, wouldn't it be Wallet, the melancholy Dime? Oh my god. *hic*!!!" She starts to laugh even harder, having reached auto-amuse.

"Carry on," Zane says as he takes the tea cup, holding it out to the middle of the table. "Carry on, Tara's Wayward Wallet. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary folds to rest. Don't you cry no more." Then, he passes the cup to James, who holds it, thoughtfully, before solemnly informing the ghost of the lost wallet. "At least you didn't belong to the Teletubbies."

"Bravo, bravo, bravissimo." Petra says solemnly to Zane and James, though there's the hint of a smile tugging insistently at the edge of her lips. "One can only hope," she teases Tara at her gasp, and then she suggests to James, "Now pass the cup to Tara. She knew Wallet best." She wipes an imaginary tear from the corner of her eyes, and clears her throat to keep from laughing.

Really, Lo Mein Zane - Kansas? Really?! Tara isn't crying any more, but she's not crying any less either. It's the good tears, though, the laughter kind of tears. She continues to hiccup and wheeze throughout her speech, taking the teacup and raises it up high. "I'd just like to say a few words for Wall-ey. We were so close. Together through thick and thin. You helped me through some really hard times." She pauses for dramatic effect, which is ruined by yet another hiccup. "I'm just going to pour this out for my fallen Wall-ey," and she upends the cup. Oh yes, someone's not going to be welcome back at the Golden Dragon.

Using his tongue, Zane retrieves one end of his noodle mustache, and the lo mein starts to slither across his face as he eats it. Otherwise, though, he is so very solemnly listening to Tara. "Poor some out for those who can't be here with us, yeah. You're a good eu-googleizer," he quotes his favorite movie. James, sadly, appears to have seen Zane's favorite movie, and busts out laughing again as well.

"I feel you, Boo," Petra says with great empathy for Tara and her plight, hiccups or no. And she pulls out her own wallet, flapping its little 'mouth' in a clap or a who knows what, all while keeping a straight face. Well, up until that lo mein starts being sucked into Zane's face, at which point she just LOSES it.

There's already so much food and drink on the table, what's a little more tea, right? It's only a matter of time before the manager or hostess comes over, so Tara seizes the moment (YOLO!!!) and also literally seizes the tea pot. A steady stream of jasmine tea annoints the surface of the table and trickles down into the booth... most likely into everyone's pants. Luckily, the tea has cooled off considerably. It's tepid. That's right: tepid. "*hic!*" Tara says mournfully, pouring the last of the tea over Petra.

Grinning at Petra, Zane pulls the last noodle off his face, then holds it out, like he'd hold a worm to chase her around the playground with if they were children and he was ever the kind of kid who would chase girls with worms. (Zane was probably busy dutifully playing house to get in good with the girls during recess, not chasing them with worms). "Mmmm...." he tries to tempt her. James, meanwhile, looks /thrilled/ that Tara is so bad, and he does his best to smile sweetly at the hostess who is shaking her head at them. Of course, James isn't exactly helping, with his snow pea eyebrows!

Petra cracks open a fortune cookie.

"This is payback, isn't it? Payback for what, I can only imagine. Then again, I'm a naughty, naughty girl, so I shouldn't be surprised." No, I haven't maved my TS into the wrong window, this is just Petra musing to herself. She clicks her tongue at Tara, standing up and wiping tea off of her miniskirt. "You're a mean one, Ms. Tara," she sings out, and the tune is very much not recognizable through Petra's warbling. She smirks at the noodle offered to her from Zane and shoves the last bit of her brown rice toward him, tempting him right back. "Eat iiiiiiit," she murmurs, and cracks open a fortune cookie. "Ooh. It says someone close to me will find great fortune and success. Hopefully this means you'll find Wallet again after all, T."

For sure, Tara's probably never going to be able to come back in here, unless she wears a massive disguise. Since the die has been cast, she goes all in. When Petra rises out of easy access, Tara simply waters James instead. There's only a little bit of tea left for this nefarious purpose. "*hic!* We need more tea!" Tara pulls off the tea pot's lid and sets it back on there upside down, in the universal signal in all Chinese restaurants that indicates it's time to bring a fresh pot. Yeah, that's going to work out great. She wheezes, calling out, "Wall-ey, wall-ey, wall-ey."

"Eeeeevaaaa...Taaaraaaa!" James jumps in, since his mother probably approves of that movie as opposed to all the horrible things he's seen this summer. He leans forward, holding his mouth open as if Tara should just pour the tea straight into it. Zane, of course, eats Petra's brown rice with gusto, and he continues to try to feed her the noodle. If she doesn't eat it and doesn't run off, he'll stick it to her forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt. "The girl who lived," he announces, oh so solemnly. "Noodlemort. He who shall not be named."

Petra neither eats it (who are you kidding?) nor runs off. She is... THE GIRL WHO LIVED. "But you just named him!" She says, with wide eyes. "Now he'll run amuck! I am Sherry Potsticker, The Girl Who Lived, and I must stop him!" She says, striking a dashing pose. "I also gotta head home. My panties are all soaked, and you KNOW Jai hates to miss that." TMI, PETRA!

Tara doesn't have good aim, because her hands are shaking too hard. Still, at least some of the tea must have gone into James' mouth, as opposed to all over his face. (In the face is okay, but not in the eye.) She still has the hiccups, but was starting to calm down a bit... that is, until the introduction of the newest character in this tragic tale. "Sherry Potsticker," she wheezes, "And the Order of Lo Mein. To go!" Oh yeah, she's losing it again.

Blinking, James closes his mouth, rubbing stray drops of tea off his face. "Why does he hate to miss that? It's not like you peed them," he asks Petra, tilting his head to the side. Stunned (and not because Noodlemort's here, no), Zane blinks, totally not sure how to field James's question.

"Shhhh!" Tara busts out of pose order to save the day. "She totally did pee them!" she hisses to James in a whisper. "*hic!*"

James busts out too! "Petra.....you know where the potty is, right?"

"Sherry Potsticker And The Order of Lo Mein. I love it!" Petra claps Tara on the back, or tries to, and then says, absolutely deadpan, "Because he wouldn't want me to get chafed, Jamiekins. No rashes, no chafing. Someone tell this kid about diaper rash!" She completely doesn't correct Tara saying she peed in her pants, so taken all together, this is looking just GREAT for Petra's reputation. "I'm headed there now!" she assure James, heading for the exit. She puts her money down on the table to pay for her food and Tara's tea, and then she is OUTTIE!