From Masq
Name: Petra Malekar (née Brahe)

Nationality: American
Occupation: Mama and part-time instructor at Dans en Siel
Demeanor: Deviant
Apparent Age: Late 20s
Height: 5'9"

Nicknames: Imperatrix/Imp (Jai only)
Minx (Jai only)
Pettles (Joel only)
चमकदार सितारा (Jai only)

"I'll be just walking along minding my own business, and BOOM. Knife in the back. Then you'll just be there being all beautiful and world-class pouty and no one will have the heart to suspect you of anything. They'll find out it was your knife, and then arrest my corpse for stealing it." -Jai

"You would make a pretty terrifying enemy. I fight with knives, you can kill someone with words. When I kill them, they are dead.. when you do.. they are dead inside. Between the two of us, you are far more scary." - Deacon

"No, I'm just the worst at reading you. You are like the sphinx to me. Or at least a technologically savvy, foul-mouthed, brawling reasonable facsimile." and later: "Seriously. Your superpower is possessing no filter of any sort, isn't it?" -Nicolas

"I already know how this'll play out. I'll get a bloody nose and you'll still be an idiot!" -Petra

"Pizza palace oh so dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, who will save me from this bore? Only Petra, nothing more." -Joel

"....That horse has Jai's pants." -Joaquín
"I don't think they're gonna fit!" -Jai

RP Hooks


RP Hooks:

  • Wanting to learn to dance, or just get in shape? Check out Dans en Siel, owned and operated by Damian! Petra takes classes there, and also teaches Introductory Yoga and the Tumbling class for small children there.
  • Petra worked at Laura's Herbal Apothecary and Kiva Coffee, though she hasn't been seen behind those counters lately. Maybe she helped you with a purchase at some point, or you miss seeing her smiling face!
  • Need a cab? She's bound to butt in and try and get you to use Jai's cab service!
  • Speaking of, do you know Jai? He's her husband. She's totally not biased. <_<
  • She and Jai have got a one year old baby, and often strangers like to coo over babies-- or correct the parents on how they're raising them!
  • Do you look even slightly interesting or unusual? Clothes count! If we go to the same location, she's bound to try and capture your image on film!
  • University of New Mexico alumni. If you went there in the first half of the last decade, we might've met!
  • Like to do physical things? Petra enjoys a wide variety of activities, from jogging to roller skating to just plain working out.
  • None of these fit? Page me and we'll work something out. Petra is pretty approachable, and not afraid to make an ass of herself!

09-18-2010: Joel's Fascinating Bulges

Wherein Joel arrives with fascinating bulges, and is kicked out of the Cantina for acts of kindness!

09-30-2010: Christmas Sweater Mayhem

Wherein Christmas Cheer is spread like a contagious virus!

10-09-2010: Eldritch Delight

Wherein Damian and Petra become gods with Jai's assistance, Petra is briefly left in charge by Liane, and then she gets her inevitable comeuppance.


Wherein Wren is stolen from, Joel wears a monstrosity, Petra kills a man just to watch him die, and then she makes her singing debut!

10-21-2010: Sugar Lumps

Wherein a series of most unusual musical performances are given.

11-19-2010: Ain't Too Proud To Beg

Wherein Petra must face her deadliest foe: a food service worker.

01-08-2011: High School of the Dead

Wherein everyone ends up shirtless or pantsless while investigating an incredibly creepy school. Hijinks ensue. ...NOT THAT KIND!

11-23-2011: Fork in the Road

Wherein Petra presents Jai with a DECENT proposal, for a change.

02-07-2013: Lost Wallet

Wherein history is reinterpreted for ol' Wall-ey, people crawl around with very little provocation... and Petra pees her pants?

A Glimpse Within

And lastly, this comic.
Physical Description

 Petra appears to be in her late 20s, and her accent pegs her as coming from an upper class section of New York. Her silky brown hair trails a little past her shoulders, with just a hint of curl. It is left down, but one section that frames her face is braided and covered with stones and beads in winter colors, a silver eye of Osiris dangling from the end. She has a pert nose, wide hazel eyes, and a peaches and cream complexion. Her best feature, however, is probably her broad mouth, which is often quirked up into a wry half-smile or split with a toothy, infectious grin that speaks to good dentistry. She stands 5'9" with a runner's build, lean but healthy and long of limb. She wears a very light application of makeup, apparently going for the natural look.

Allies and Contacts
Jai (Jaipie/Praetor) φ
Tyche (Ty) φ
Like water on stone. Words do not suffice. But you'll take them and you'll like them, bitch! does the ILF, let's be honest. You made me a MILF! The M makes it worth it.
Andrea μ
Bill (Billy)
Chandler (Chan-chan) μ
Detective Lady! I don't know you well... but as Cleo's mom, you come well recommended! You're pretty cool, I *guess*! Yo! Where my hugs at? Rimshot, anyone? ...anyone? You make me laugh. And your jokes don't hurt, either!
Cleo μ
Damian (D)
Devlin μ
Future firefighter? You growed up real good. But I still wanna call you Short Stack. The hugbot has come home to roost! Part-time boss and training buddy... but so much more than just that. Brogues do it from behind? Don't know you too well, but your wife rocks!
Ezekiel (Zeke) μ
Gareth (Gary Stu)
Harry (Dirty Harry) α
Welcome to Albuquerque! Breaker breaker two-nine. Roger! That's what I imagine ham radio sounds like, anyway. Your conscience says you are missed. Where the heck are you? Come back from freakin' Tibet or wherevs! Where are you? Crossed wires but the connections still carry.
Jack (Jackie) μ
Jason (J)
Joel φ
Someone call an ambulance for that sick burn! ...oh wait. Anyone ever tell you you're pretty cool? I'm not saying it, I just wondered! I still believe in your future. Thanks for the shinies! Maybe we'll just take turns. You're a beacon, whether you realize it or not. I'm sorry, man. But some people got NO taste, amirite?
Karin μ
Katie (Katiebeans)
Liane (Annie)
Will I ever figure you out? Made of trouble. Built to last. Good to have around during a crisis. She gives as good as she takes. Partner in crime! You see more than you know. You have a sharp wit. It's awesome when you use it-- even against me.
Maxine (Max) μ
Natalie (Nat) μ
Nathan μ
Artsy! I bet it's not all in your head. Some of it, sure. But all? But srsly... FRESH MEAT. Fresh meat! I mean, uh, welcome to Albuquerque! GIT U SUM ... I finally heard it, and it was worth the wait!
Raine μ
Tara μ
Tom μ
Sprog spawners unite! Thanks for the baby blanket! And congrats on the sprogling! But I *did* like that scarf! Tattoo artiste... Garbage Girl needs to make a comeback. Why do so many people I know wanna get me drunk? I almost feel bad for giving you so much dirt on him. ...naaaaaah.
Vince μ
Wren (Wrenlet) μ
Zack μ
Sorry about the noise, mister. Loose cannon... full of booze and confetti. Stealing hearts. Still wondering which of us would've won. And I'll be sure to subject them all to the Petra Test. Cupcakes? Hey you! Sorry I was kind of a dick.
Zane (Z)
Further and further apart. Shared traumas, shared affections. In a totally not creepy way.
OOC Quotes
Idea for an OOC quotes page shamelessly stolen from Joel without even a pretense at permission. He will forgive me, because he's awesome like that. (Also, I have blackmail pictures.) Code for said OOC quotes page stolen from Zack!

But first, an awesome IC quote:

You text to Jai: Sing my praises. In iambic pentameter, if you please.
You receive a text from Jai: Are you looking for a rhyme scheme here too? If so I warn you it will be rudimentary at best...
You text to Jai: I will allow you to forgo rhyming just this once. I am a forgiving god.
You receive a text from Jai: Oh Petra, swift of mind and fleet of foot
You receive a text from Jai: With voice that none who hear can e'er forget
You receive a text from Jai: Whose beauty shames the very stars above
You receive a text from Jai: And also any that might be below
You receive a text from Jai: With wrath that shakes the trees and darks the skies
You receive a text from Jai: Yet even so a kind forgiving god
You receive a text from Jai: Whose laugh or smile lights the grey-toned land
You receive a text from Jai: And fills it with the joy of colour's glow
You receive a text from Jai: She who creates from nothing, scrumptiousness
You receive a text from Jai: And shares it freely with her supplicants
You receive a text from Jai: She who keeps secrets tight against her breast
You receive a text from Jai: She who the weirdest thought train can follow
You receive a text from Jai: Imperatrix, I sing these praises true
You receive a text from Jai: As clearly as my mortal mind allows
You receive a text from Jai: And if my mean attempts do not suffice,
You receive a text from Jai: Well, sorry about that, I'm not really a very good poet.

Secondly, the most epic mav I have ever been a party to. Petra was needling Liane about her sex life:

You receive a text from Liane: i am not sleeping with my husband yet
You text to Liane: What about blowjobs?
You receive a text from Liane: no!
You paged Abyss with 'Handjob?'
You paged Abyss with 'HAHAH.'
You paged Abyss with 'That was supposed to be a text. :P'

And now, on with the OOC quotes!

<OOC> Zane says, "Petra, love is fake cheese all over my underpants."

[Public] Jake says, "Has anyone noticed there's a puma? I don't mean to make it feel self-conscious but."
[Public] Tara says, "It's NOT A PUMA"

[Public] Weston says, "You must face Destiny!"
[Public] Destiny says, "It's true. Because if you don't, I'm pretty okay with doin' it from behind."

<OOC> Joel says, "Assume if you like that Joel invited Petra over to talk! And make sweet sweet love."
<OOC> Petra says, "He's such a TS whore."
<OOC> Joel says, "Gurl u no it"
<OOC> Joel says, "I got 99 problems but lack of text based sex isn't one"
<OOC> Petra says, "Also, I cannot vote for you. It is partially because I voted for you after 2:30 am last night, but it's mostly because I hate you."
<OOC> Joel says, "Why did you vote for me last night?"
<OOC> Joel says, "Did we even RP last night?"
<OOC> Joel says, "Did I do anything I regret? Are you pregnant? I don't remember this at all."

[Public] Guest1 says, "I was cooking rice in the microwave, but only got to the boiling water and butter part of it before I fumbled the bowl and spilt the boiling oily water on my lap."
[Public] Guest1 sniffs, "Last time I cooked in the nude, I'll tell you that much."
[Public] Karuvar has found a love of baking and stir fry.
[Public] Slash Queen Liane has never tried making stir-fry.
[Public] Guest1 says, "I tried stir-fry once, but then I spilt a bunch of the oil on my lap."
[Public] Guest1 says, "Second to last time I cooked in the nude, I'll tell you that much."
[Public] Slash Queen Liane says, "G1, just admit the fact that you enjoy oil on your lap. It's okay."
[Public] Guest1 says, "Boiling oil."
[Public] Guest1 says, "and clamps on mah nipples."
[Public] Guest1 says, "But not many recipes call for those."

[Public] Karuvar walks by, sees Jai perpetually chained to the pub wall. Rifles through his pockets. Walks off.
[Public] Karuvar, from the next frame. "The /hell/ does he do with /this/?"
[Public] Jai says, "Come back and unchain me and I'll show you."
[Public] Jai says, "Hell, you don't even have to unchain me. Though it would make it easier."
[Public] Karuvar... also returns to the first frame, drags Jai to the second. "... Oh. OH."
[Public] <( ^.^ )> Alex says, "Jai is very good at tongue charades. Doesn't even need hands."
[Public] Jai says, "Practice makes pervert!"
[Public] Karuvar says, "He just tied three cherry stems into a celtic knot. With his /tongue/."

Liane: I am in a haze of joy and delight now that I have tasted the sweet nectar of your words, my wondrous pear of pleasure.

[Public] Destiny says, "I'd heard you were bringing sexy back, that those other boys, they don't know how to act."
[Public] Cole says, "I heard your milk based frozen beverage brings gentlemen constantly to your place of residence. And they suggest frequently that it is superior in quality to other beverages of a similar creation."
[Public] Cole says, "You could, of course, give them the recipe, but would probably seek monetary compensation."
[Public] Slash Queen Liane says, "You are correct, sir. It is better than beverages of a similar creation. The secret could be passed on through various educational channels, but yes, monetary compensation would be necessary."

[Public] Damian says, "Well, my life is complete. I've gotten to use 'vagina compass' in a sentence."
[Public] Augury watches Damian die.. at least he was happy!
[Public] Maven says, "I hope it was a 'constructive' conversation, if you know what I mean."
[Public] Damian says, "Pfft! ..Wait, yes it was."

[Public] The Soul Seeking Oblivion scrolls back. "Whats WRONG with you people?"
[Public] Jai says, "Do you want an annotated list?"
[Public] Nicolas says, "You want that list alphabetically by player or by dysfunction?"

[Public] Abigail says, "Anyone have any ideas as to where I should find PC quotes?"
[Public] Abigail says, "I mean do people usually use other peoples quotes... or their own?"
[Public] Petra says, "I use a mix of quotes from Petra, other characters, and famous quotes."
[Public] Liane says, "I just use famous ones and tell everyone, "HEY EDIT MY PAGE IF YOU THINK SOMETHIN' COOL WAS SAID.""
[Public] Petra edits your page to add: Liane says, "I am going to give Petra all my money! I love her SO MUCH."
[Public] Liane will then edit Petra's page to say, Petra says, "I might charge by the hour, but I love you totally that hour. And all your friends. Possibly a pet or two if you pay me the bonus."
[Public] Harry says, "...But. How can we tell that comment from Petra any other day?"

<OOC> Damian shanks Jai. A love shank. Baby love shank.
<OOC> Petra says, "I got me a shiv, it's killed about twenty, so hurry up, and-- oh."
<OOC> Jai brings his jukebox money. Also, bandaids.

<OOC> Jai totally jumps Sal's pose. Sorry. *^_^*
<OOC> Damian says, "His pose probably liked it"
<OOC> Petra says, "Have you been a NAUGHTY POSE?"
<OOC> Jai says, "I couldn't stop myself. It was just so... mmm. So posey."
<OOC> Joel says, "Late nights on Masq should come with some kind of warning. Or be pay per view."
<OOC> Joel says, "Actually, that's pretty much any time on Masq."
<OOC> Damian says, "Srsly"
<OOC> Petra says, "This pose wouldn't be extra posable, would it? :)"
<OOC> Jai says, "Oh, man, yeah. With that sultry look in its adjectives, and its verbs all coyly arranged...."

<OOC> Liane says, "I leave you with this! As I'm off doing VERY IMPORTANT NON-TS THINGS with this bottle of sensual massage oil, leather whip and bottle of caramel sauce, Petra suddenly attacks Meg and begins ferociously making out with her. Jai, after thanking his lucky stars, grabs some popcorn to watch, but the buttery smell causes both Meg and Petra to jump him in a buttered and salty sexy threesome. This being WoD, they all fall madly in love with one another, leading to ANGST between them, for it is forbidden to love between the half-demon, half-were, and vampiric thrall! You may assign one another whatever role you'd prefer. :) Natsuki is, obviously, just going to ninja away to her harem and hold this all as blackmail against them. <3"
Liane has left.
<OOC> Meg says, "That was magnificent."
<OOC> Jai says, "Well, my day is made!"

[Public] Damian gasps! Mystery pie out of no where! This is my favorite kind! I'm not even going to question where it came from.
[Public] Damian says, "If I were smarter, I'd be more worried, since I spent all day running horror scenes..."

[Public] Jai says, "I don't want to slap Petra. :("
[Public] Petra says, "No one sane would want to sleep me."
[Public] Petra says, "Slap me, either."
[Public] Jai says, "That was Freudian right there."

[Public] ( >'.')> Alex | Alex relaxes in the water, looks around. "... Wait, where all the women at? :-("
[Public] \ Jai stole 'em.
[Public] Slash Queen Liane says, "He really did. Jai comes to the hot springs with two bitches on his arm and leaves with three."
[Public] ( >'.')> Alex says, "OMFG MITOSIS"

You paged Nicolas with 'Though it's the only Klingon I know, so that's my saving grace.'
Nicolas pages: That's not much of a saving grace.

<OOC> Maven says, "A summary of what's going on: William is at the counter, Maven is checking out his books, and they're chatting about computers and physics and other nerdy stuff while Petra is gently mocking us."
<OOC> Petra wouldn't DREAM of mocking you.
<OOC> Petra coughs.
<OOC> Liane says, "She'd just do it."

Long distance to Darling: Petra is trying to FINALLY finish descing her place. I suuuuuuuuuuck at descing.
Darling pages: I'm gud. > You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
You paged Darling with '> EAST'
Darling pages: I don't see that here.
You paged Darling with '> WEST'
Darling pages: The door is locked.
You paged Darling with '> unlock west door'
Darling pages: unlock west door with what?
You paged Darling with '> inventory'
Darling pages: You have a bacon, a sequined jumpsuit, and a dehydrated squid.
You paged Darling with '> wear jumpsuit'
Darling pages: You are now wearing a sequined jumpsuit. Viva Las Vegas!
You paged Darling with '> SOUTH'
Darling pages: I don't know how to go SOUTH
You paged Darling with '> eat bacon'
Darling pages: Mmm.
You paged Darling with '> wear squid'
Darling pages: I don't know how to wear squid.
You paged Darling with '> cry'
Darling pages: Your tears hydrate the squid. It strangles you.
**** YOU HAVE DIED ****

[Public] Natsuki says, "If there is trouble Natsuki will beat them off!"
[Public] Jai says, "o.O"
[Public] Natsuki says, "Oh... geeze... that sounded wrong..."
[Public] Jai is trouble. Ask anyone.

<OOC> Petra says, "I love you all so much. You make me laugh ever so."
<OOC> Zack says, "That's what it's all about. Not the hokey fucking pokey."
<OOC> Liane says, "Unless you're Joel. Then it's all about the hokey fucking pokey. What exactly are you putting in and shaking all about, though...well. Some questions remain unanswered."

Ben pages: Why I don't play a monk: Apparently, "It's Fisting Time!" is not a good battle cry.

[Public] The Elusive Roshanara says, "Liane, I heard you were dead."
[Public] Liane says, "Rosh, I heard you were cute. See? Can't believe everything you hear :)"

[Public] Zack volunteers to check the women's locker room.
[Public] Petra volunteers to check Zack's pants.
[Public] Joel says, "Already there."
[Public] Liane says, "Joel's THOROUGHLY searched the area."

To (Petra, Liane, Trace, Joel), Jai pages: MUAHAHAHA! You didn't recognize me in the skirt and gloves!
To (Trace, Liane, Petra, Jai), Joel pages: Skirt and gloves?
To (Trace, Liane, Petra, Jai), Joel pages: Hawt.
To (Petra, Liane, Trace, Joel), Jai pages: You know it!
From afar, to (Trace, Liane, Petra, Jai): Joel would /totally/ recognize you.
To (Petra, Liane, Trace, Joel), Jai pages: Is 'recognize' a euphemism?
To (Petra, Liane, Trace, Joel), Jai pages: If not, can it be?

Joel pages: VIC CAN KNIT
From afar, Joel ouches! My paradigms are shifting!
Joel pages: It hurts, Petra! It hurts!

From part of a pose by Liane: Petra looks to be in the bloom of health, unweepy, and generally Petra. They seem to be heading for the shop!
<OOC> Petra says, "I love you, Liane."
<OOC> Liane coughs. "Yes well. That's Petra! We can practically verb her."

<OOC> Ben can smile. And murder while he smiles.
<OOC> Joel says, "Put that shit on your RESUME"
<OOC> Joel says, "Multitasks well"

To (Petra, Zack), Joel pages: Someday Liane is going to look back and wonder where her life went wrong, and all our names will come up.

Zack pages: They're probably too busy making out to respond.
You paged Zack with 'Well, you know Liane. She's a total TS whore.'
You paged Zack with 'With those long skirts and that come hither look.'
Zack pages: Yeah, I didn't really want to say anything but... She's like the bus. Everyone's had a ride.
You paged Zack with 'Seriously. So scandalous.'
From afar, Zack looks for bus money.
You paged Zack with 'Hahaha. She charges now? I thought all rides were on the house. ;)'
Zack pages: Times are tough. The bus needs maintenance now and then.
You paged Zack with 'Boy does it ever.'
Zack pages: I mean, it'll still get you there, don't get me wrong!
You paged Zack with 'It's definitely a bumpy ride, though.'
Zack pages: That's why I always buckle up.
You paged Zack with 'Well, on that kind of bus it's really important. You don't want to end up in an accident.'
You paged Liane with 'Do your ears burn?'
Zack pages: Goodness no! It's practically a death trap.
You paged Zack with 'I've been on more than one of those rides when there's a flat tire, and that's just not what you want out of a ride.'
Zack pages: I was on one where I had to get out and push.
You paged Zack with 'Oh, that's the worst.'
You paged Zack with 'I heard you always ride in the back seat.'
Zack pages: I mean, you get on for a ride, bumpy as it may be, and you don't expect you're going to have to do work.
Zack pages: Only if there isn't room in the front.
You paged Zack with 'Especially on that kind of bus.'
You paged Zack with 'I heard it was pretty roomy, though.'
Zack pages: It's a double-decker. Sometimes I like to go up top.
You paged Zack with 'Well, that can help you not have to sit by someone smelly.'
Zack pages: That's true! And when you're up there you can really see and be seen. If you don't mind that kind of public exposure.
You paged (Zack, Liane) with 'Your good name has been soiled forever, Liane. SOILED.'
To (Liane, Petra), Zack pages: That implies it was ever clean before
To (Petra, Zack), Liane pages: ....what did you DO?
Long distance to (Zack, Liane): Petra blames Zack.
You paged (Zack, Liane) with 'Also busses.'
To (Liane, Petra), Zack pages: It takes two to tango, Petra.
To (Liane, Petra), Zack pages: We could, however, take the bus to the dance.
You paged (Zack, Liane) with 'I heard it was broken down again. Oil leak.'
To (Petra, Liane), Zack pages: Oh yeah, you don't ever want fluids leaking.
You paged (Zack, Liane) with 'This will teach you to never to go afk to get the door again, Liane. Let that be a lesson to you.'
To (Petra, Zack), Liane pages: Btw, NO MAKEOUT SESSIONS
To (Liane, Petra), Zack pages: She says as she comes up for air.
To (Petra, Zack), Liane pages: Zack, you're awful :|
Long distance to (Zack, Liane): Petra sings, "Dun dun dun, ANOTHER ONE RIDES THE BUS!"
To (Petra, Liane), Zack pages: I think I'm quite the opposite of awful, actually!
To (Petra, Zack), Liane pages: Fine, you're awesome, but you make me sad :(
You paged (Zack, Liane) with 'I'm sure he can think of *some* way to cheer you up.'